I was reading Jen's blog this morning and she had such a good message I wanted to pass it along. I also read Jody's blog and asked her to add more of her ideas to the list (she did in the comments). Both of these women have lost a child and have been willing to share their thoughts with all of us. What amazes me is that these women have such a positive outlook on life and keep going. I admire your strength ladies!! I have since printed it out and will keep it close by for times when it is needed.
Acts of Kindness (borrowed from Jen's blog, I have added other ideas as well from other comments on her post)
* Take in a hot meal or a frozen meal for future use, schedule a group to deliver meals
* Offer to babysit their children in or out of their home
* Offer to take a child to an appointment or for lunch
* Mow their lawn or put out their garbage can on garbage day
* Drop off the message from church if they were unable to attend
* Purchase a gas card for them if they have multiple doctor appointments in far away cities
* Give them space when they need it, and be there when they need it
* Saying, "I'm sorry for your loss" is often all that's needed
* In lieu of flowers, send a plant or make a donation to a worthy cause in the family's name
* Offer to fold their laundry, do their dishes, or mop their floor (trust me they get too tired to do these things some times)
* Send a hand made card to let them know you are thinking about them
* Send the family photos you have taken and your memories so they have a new perspective on their lost family member
* Donate blood to the blood bank
* Prepare activities that can be used in a hospital/doctor's office
* Loan the family movies or books
* make a donation of any kind where it best helps the family
*gift cards for haircuts, ice cream other random items
*for those at the hospital: toothbrush, kleenex, mints, hand held games and other time passing activities (crosswords, magazines etc)
*mention the loved one even after the immediate event has happened so that the family knows they have not been forgotten
*send cards etc on the loved ones birthday to the family, special holidays, or the day of the tragic event
*donations in the loved ones name even after a long time has passed (Jody says this reminds her that her daughter's life still matters, still touches others, still impacts others.)
*give handmade thank you notes and stamps
On a similar topic when my husband was badly burned and was in the burn unit for weeks a few years back people really touched my life as well. Some things I remember people doing for us were:
*bringing me meals while I was visiting him at the hospital
*bringing me things to do while waiting
*bringing him things to do while in the hospital, special treats, magazines etc
*a great friend would just come sit with me. only 2 people could go back at a time so there were times when I had to be the one in the waiting room. Still tears me up to this day - she also helped me continue to write lesson plans in the hospital - THANKS HEATHER, it's not been forgotten!!
*once my husband came home one friend gave him a gift card to a movie rental place since he had limited activity - that was a life saver
Feel free to add to our list. I know several people have been through rough times and many visits to the hospital and it's always nice to have an idea of what to do. So often we do NOTHING because we are unsure of WHAT to do. I also know sometimes we say NOTHING because we don't know WHAT to say.
Friday, August 10, 2007
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3 comments:
That made me tear up. I had forgotten all about that. Those other people in the waiting room had to think we were crazy cutting and coloring spread out all over. I do remember someone bringing Brad and I ice cream to the rehad hospital when he was there after his leg surgery. You are so good at doing these things. Thanks!
Heather
Oh I thought of one to add. Someone sent Brad a basket of snacks when he had his leg surgery. That helped so much and saved us from using the vending machines. Lots of florist and those online do these types of baskets now and can deliver them for you.
Heather
Hey, Teaque - Of course I remember you. I feel like I know you better than I do from that one crop because of how Shelley talks about you. She said you are planning to take some newborn shots of their baby girl this fall. I know she'll love that.
Thanks for commenting on my blog. It's good to know who's reading. I pretty much think I'm writing to myself, then I remember there are people I don't even know reading. That's the thing about a blog -- it totally challenges the idea of writing for an audience, something I was trained to do in journalism school!
Let's see the crop was in November, and we learned about Cate when I was in Louisville for Christmas. We ended up meeting the birth mother and committing to the adoption (as did the birth mother) in mid-January. And Cate was born in May. So, God blessed us with a rather quick process. Again, I just know it was meant to be. The peace I feel about this is beyond anything I can even begin to understand!
Hope you're doing well. Congratulations on your pregnancy.
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